Everyday after school, my grandmother would pick me up and we would walk back to her house on the beach in Florida. We had the same schedule every day, I would get off of school and we would stop to get some ice cream along the way back home. When we had that daily routine, I was in kindergarten at the time; now, I am in the 8th grade.
When I was in about 2nd grade, the most tragic thing had happened to me and my whole family. My grandmother had passed away. Ever since then, I had to walk home by myself and I would go a whole different route and I wouldn’t get ice cream or anything after she had passed because it had brought me too much grief and sadness. When I was in the 2nd grade, I was about 8 years old; I was very young and couldn’t really comprehend the whole idea of her passing. Of course I had thought about her everyday and still do.
My friend, she had long thick wavy black hair, her name is Jill. She is always asking me if I want to go to the ice cream shop, the one that my grandmother and I had always gone to. All of the years had passed and I still continued to say no. I sat and thought, thought about what my grandma would have wanted me to do. I eventually asked Jill if she wanted to go to the shop. I feel like my grandmother would want me to carry on the tradition and not run away from my fears.
Jill and I went to the shop and the whole time I was there, I sat trying to keep myself together, feeling pain and sadness inside my heart. I wanted to just leave and never go back, but I gathered myself and I came through. After we got done there, Jill asked me to go back with her to her house. I agreed. Little did I know, Jill’s house was right beside the bridge on the beach where me and my grandmother would go across everyday.
There I sat in front of the bridge with all these thoughts going through my head. All the laughs and good times we had together, now I can never add on to and keep gaining more time with her. I told Jill I couldn’t walk across the bridge.
Later, I had thought about everything and again more thoughts coming in from all these different directions telling me all different things, thoughts just filling my head. Once Jill fell asleep later that night I had made a huge decision. I quickly snuck out of her house, around 11 o’clock at night so I could go back to the bridge to gather all the memories we had. With tears filling my eyes I had thought about all the memories we had had. Like, the long walks when we used to tease each other, out of love. Finally, I was alone in peace and quiet; I could hear my laughter followed by her laughter.
Being able to go back to the bridge that i had been terrified of for 6 years and to finally get all the weight lifted off my shoulders felt amazing. I felt like I was finally at peace with my grandmother again.
There I sat, quietly looking off into the sunset sitting on the edge of the bridge. I felt at home again. Sitting there, just thinking, and after a while I began to notice something. I noticed that right in my view was my grandmothers house.
“Where are you?! Marg, where are you?” I heard Jill calling for me out in the distance. All of the sudden real life just had come back to me. All the memories and fantasies were gone in a split second. I had explained to Jill what I had been doing out there sitting on the bridge. “But it 3 in the morning Marg!”
I couldn’t believe it. It seemed like I was only out there for 10 minutes but I had been sitting out there reuniting with all my old memories, in peace, hearing laughter and my grandmothers soft voice in my head, for 4 hours!
Several moments later, I had gone home and I had told my mother everything that had happened and I explained that Jill and I had gone to the ice cream shop and that I walked across the bridge.
I finally felt like I could have that weight lifted off of my shoulders and that I wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore. Now, I could walk past that ice cream shop and the bridge anytime I want and feel my grandmothers presence with me. I could feel at ease with everything again and I feel like this brought out relationship a lot more clear.